Sacred Goods
Free across the network. Premium printed forthcoming. Both equally holy.
Available Now · Free Digital
Personalized PDFs and printables generated locally in your browser. Print at home, distribute, tuck into library books. The Society does not see your name.
Personalized Bull of Ordination
A papal-bull-style PDF certificate with your Pope name, ornate gold/purple borders, and a YOLD date stamp. Generated by discordianpope.com.
Free · Generated in your browser
Issue at pope.com →Traditional Pope Card
The classic printable Pope Card from the original Principia Discordia. Cut, laminate, carry. Hosted at discordianism.org.
Free · Print at home
Download Card →Operation Mindfuck Kit
Saint trading cards (38 saints), bus-stop posters (Gemini-illustrated), holy-day greeting cards, and trifold tract pamphlets (Claude-written copy). All printable.
Free · 4 generators
Open the Kit →Discordianism Decompiled (2026)
The 2026 edition of the Discordian canon, free to read online. Kopyleft. All Rites Reversed.
Free · Read online
Read the Book →Forthcoming · Printed & Premium
Physical editions fulfilled by external vendors (Printful, Lulu, etc.). Designs ready; vendors not yet wired. Purchases support network hosting. The Society does not collect payment information — checkout happens at the vendor.
Custom Pope Card (PVC)
Wallet-sized PVC card, credit-card-thick, personalized with your Pope name. The premium edition of the free PDF.
Forthcoming
Deluxe Bull of Ordination
11×14″ printed certificate, gold-foil accents, embossed seal, premium paper. Suitable for framing or convincing skeptics.
Forthcoming
Golden Apple Enamel Pin
Hard enamel pin of the Apple of Discord. KALLISTI inscribed. Gold-plated backing.
Forthcoming
Sacred Chao T-Shirt
The Sacred Chao on heavyweight cotton, screen-printed (not direct-to-garment). Discordian colors.
Forthcoming
Fnord Mug
"I Can See the Fnords" ceramic mug, 11oz. Microwave safe. Dishwasher safe (probably).
Forthcoming
Ordination Gift Set
Deluxe Bull + Custom Pope Card + printed Principia. The complete papal starter pack.
Forthcoming
Sacred Texts · Buy Anywhere
Books we recommend that we don’t print. The Temple takes no cut — the only profit is yours.
Principia Discordia
By Malaclypse the Younger and Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. Public domain — print editions vary.
Available at bookstores
Find a Copy →The Illuminatus! Trilogy
Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson. The novel that spread Discordianism worldwide.
Available at bookstores
Find a Copy →Cosmic Trigger
Robert Anton Wilson’s memoir of his encounters with the 23 enigma, conspiracy thinking, and Eris.
Available at bookstores
Find a Copy →Free digital first. Premium printed when ready.
Most of what the Discordian network offers is free, instant, and locally generated. The store exists for two reasons: (1) some people want a physical artifact and are willing to pay for the printing; and (2) the network needs hosting money. When the premium goods ship, both reasons will be served at once.
Vendor partners (Printful, Lulu, Redbubble, etc.) handle fulfillment and payment. The Temple stores no payment information and never sees your card details. Hail Eris.