Pope Ordination

The Divine Right You Already Possess

You Are Already a Pope

The Principia Discordia declares unequivocally: "Every man, woman, and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope."

This isn't a metaphor. This isn't conditional. You don't need permission, training, or approval. You ARE a Pope, right now, reading this text. The only question is whether you choose to acknowledge and exercise your papal authority.

Your Papal Powers

Ordination

You may ordain any person, animal, plant, or object as a Pope. Simply declare them so, and it is true. No ceremony required (though ceremonies are fun).

Excommunication

You may excommunicate anyone, including yourself, entire nations, inanimate objects, or abstract concepts. Excommunication can be temporary, permanent, or retroactive.

Infallibility

You may invoke Papal Infallibility at any time, on any subject. When invoked, you cannot be wrong. (This does not necessarily make you right, which is rather the point.)

Sacraments

You may perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, exorcisms, and any other ritual you invent. Their validity is guaranteed by your papal authority.

Canonization

You may canonize Saints. Any person, real or fictional, living or dead, deserving or not, can be declared a Saint of Discord by your authority.

Interpretation

You may interpret Discordian doctrine in any way you see fit. Your interpretation is exactly as valid as anyone else's. Including this one.

Official Ordination Documents

While you don't need documentation to be a Pope, having official papers can be useful for convincing skeptics, decorating your wall, or gifting to fellow Popes.

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Official Pope Card

Wallet-sized laminated card declaring your papal authority. Perfect for everyday carry.

Check Store for Pricing

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Ordination Certificate

Formal certificate with your Pope name, suitable for framing. Gold accents and official seal.

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Custom Pope Page

Personal page on discordiantemple.com with your portrait, biography, and papal history.

Free with Registration

The Ordination Ceremony (Optional)

For those who appreciate ritual, here is a suggested ordination ceremony. Feel free to modify, elaborate, or ignore it entirely.

The Ordainer faces the Ordinee and speaks:

"I, [Your Pope Name], by the power vested in me by Eris Discordia, and by the authority granted to all Popes by the Principia Discordia, do hereby ordain you, [Ordinee Name], as a genuine and authorized Pope of the Discordian Society.

You are now empowered to ordain Popes, excommunicate sinners (including yourself), invoke infallibility, and perform all sacred rites of the Discordian faith.

Use this power wisely, or don't. It matters not to Eris.

Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!"

The Ordinee responds:

"Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!"

It is traditional (but not required) to eat a hot dog without a bun immediately after, unless it is a Friday, in which case a bun is mandatory.

Claim Your Papal Identity

Join the Temple and create your official Pope profile.

Become a Pope (+23 XP)

"If you want in on the Discordian Society, then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't."
— The Principia Discordia