Pope Ordination
The Divine Right You Already Possess
You Are Already a Pope
The Principia Discordia declares unequivocally: "Every man, woman, and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope."
This isn't a metaphor. This isn't conditional. You don't need permission, training, or approval. You ARE a Pope, right now, reading this text. The only question is whether you choose to acknowledge and exercise your papal authority.
Your Papal Powers
Ordination
You may ordain any person, animal, plant, or object as a Pope. Simply declare them so, and it is true. No ceremony required (though ceremonies are fun).
Excommunication
You may excommunicate anyone, including yourself, entire nations, inanimate objects, or abstract concepts. Excommunication can be temporary, permanent, or retroactive.
Infallibility
You may invoke Papal Infallibility at any time, on any subject. When invoked, you cannot be wrong. (This does not necessarily make you right, which is rather the point.)
Sacraments
You may perform marriages, baptisms, funerals, exorcisms, and any other ritual you invent. Their validity is guaranteed by your papal authority.
Canonization
You may canonize Saints. Any person, real or fictional, living or dead, deserving or not, can be declared a Saint of Discord by your authority.
Interpretation
You may interpret Discordian doctrine in any way you see fit. Your interpretation is exactly as valid as anyone else's. Including this one.
Official Ordination Documents
You don't need documentation to be a Pope. The Society reminds members that paper does not confer authority — the authority confers the paper. That said, paper is useful for convincing skeptics, decorating your wall, or gifting to fellow Popes. (The Society keeps your Letter of Continuous Standing; the Temple keeps your page.)
The Discordian network offers three tiers: generate-it-yourself (free, instant, personalized PDFs from sibling sites), register a Temple page (free, persistent), and premium printed (Sacred Goods, supports the network).
Free Digital Documents
Personalized Bull of Ordination
A full PDF certificate with your Pope name, ornate gold/purple borders, dual-date in YOLD. Generated at discordianpope.com.
Free · PDF
Issue at pope.com →Traditional Pope Card
The classic printable Pope Card from the original Principia Discordia. Cut, laminate, carry. Hosted at discordianism.org.
Free · PDF
Download Card →Custom Pope Page
Personal page right here on the Temple with your portrait, biography, sects you've joined, and Chaos Points history.
Free · with Registration
Register NowPremium Printed (Sacred Goods)
Want the printed/laminated version, suitable for framing or wallet-carry? The Temple's Sacred Goods shop offers premium printed editions of the Pope Card and Ordination Certificate, fulfilled by external vendors. Purchases support the network's hosting and continued chaos.
The Ordination Ceremony (Optional)
For those who appreciate ritual, here is a suggested ordination ceremony. Feel free to modify, elaborate, or ignore it entirely.
The Ordainer faces the Ordinee and speaks:
"I, [Your Pope Name], by the power vested in me by Eris Discordia, and by the authority granted to all Popes by the Principia Discordia, do hereby ordain you, [Ordinee Name], as a genuine and authorized Pope of the Discordian Society.
You are now empowered to ordain Popes, excommunicate sinners (including yourself), invoke infallibility, and perform all sacred rites of the Discordian faith.
Use this power wisely, or don't. It matters not to Eris.
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!"
The Ordinee responds:
"Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!"
It is traditional (but not required) to eat a hot dog without a bun immediately after, unless it is a Friday, in which case a bun is mandatory.
Claim Your Papal Identity
Join the Temple and create your official Pope profile.
Become a Pope (+23 XP)
"If you want in on the Discordian Society, then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't."
— The Principia Discordia